Posted in Mental Health

Blog Therapy n°2: Mental Health Month and Election Day

May is Mental Health Month. Thanks for blogging or I would never have known! Okay, it might be because it’s an American thing and I do not currently live there. But mental health is important everywhere and I wish my country would take such initiatives.

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As you may know, today is a big day for France. We are voting to elect our next president. When I woke up with morning, I had the same pit in my stomach as I had the day the orange puppet of a US President was elected. This doesn’t bode well.

They say “Don’t talk politics if you want to keep your friends.” Well, for me today, it’s vote for worse or worst. I do not recognize myself in either party or face representing it. The placards everywhere don’t help, they make me want to run over them. (If you disagree, it’s fine. All opinions are valid here.)

Then you have the TV coverage. Hours of debat. Scandals. Who did what. Who hid what. I feel the world has lost sight of what is important and we are rushing through space into a giant wall.

Now, what’s the link between Mental Health and the election, except that both make me want to scream and hide? I can’t recall one of our candidates mentioning the subject of mental illnesses. Security, terrorism, money. Oh, they love those! It creates a fearful atmosphere and keeps people scared of their neighbors. And I realized this relentless talking about the scenarios, the plans, the numbers, had an effect on me and my anxiety. All this fuss which is supposed to bring us together and unite a nation, bear the values of a country, have only managed to make me sick.

So today, I’m voting. Then I’m shutting myself out from everything.

Mental health is about taking care of yourself. Today more than ever for me.

I decided I needed a post to vent, and to share my ways of taking a step back and be gentle with myself. So here is my plan for the next 24 hours!

Continue reading “Blog Therapy n°2: Mental Health Month and Election Day”

Posted in Life in General, Mental Health

Blog Therapy n°1: First Setback (mental health post)

What do you do when your next appointment with the doctor is 17 days from now?

You talk. More precisely, you talk to yourself. Then you think it is not enough. In order to benefit from its calming powers, this kind of ramblings must be shared. So, you talk to yourself through your blog. Isn’t what a blog is for? I have started to see Chocolate’n’Waffles as my private therapist. FREE therapist, something that you can’t find in real life these days! It calms me down when I’m restless, it keeps me busy when my mind is clouded with the wrong thoughts, it is the best escape door. And it is a good tool to let your emotions go and bother people with them, haha! This is a post you can skip if you don’t want to read about anxiety today, as I doubt I’ll be talking about books, unless it is to say I threw one at someone!

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Continue reading “Blog Therapy n°1: First Setback (mental health post)”

Posted in Blogging Life, Mental Health

Today on Donna’s Anatomy

I just realized this title sounds weird and somehow dirty. But what I have to tell you is neither weird or dirty. This is a small update on why there was no review last week and why there will be less reviews for the remaining months of the year. Also, It is a little apology to the authors and publishers who have trusted me with their work.

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Now that the subject of the post is clear (me, me, me!), let me say I’m not going on holiday after I won the lottery (unfortunately!) It turns out my health requires me to slow down on reading and blogging once again. Some wires in my brain have stopped functioning correctly. That is all I understood from my doctor’s speech. Doctors should have their own interpreter!
One of the results is a tiring tiredness (my teacher would hate me for that!) who makes me forget what you just said, what I just said, how to properly attach a leash to a dog or what the hell I was going to do in the kitchen.

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As you can guess, issues with memory make writing reviews or posts a tiny bit more difficult!
I cannot bring myself to go on hiatus because it would mean leave the most part of my social life behind, and I would go berserk in a week. Make it three days. Instead, I will take more time to read, meaning my Wednesday posts will become quite boring! Also, reviews might become slightly different and contain less critical content. I will do my best to keep them worth reading, but I have already noticed changes and I wanted to apologize if you feel the quality suffers from this.
I have closed my blog to review requests for now and will stay away from NetGalley (this can only be good for my ratio!)
I will keep commenting as much as possible, but with a smaller time frame, I might miss a few posts. As blogging is now an important part of my life, I felt this post was necessary!

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For authors and publishers: I will of course fulfill all of my engagements, I just need a little more time to work. If your book has not been reviewed yet, I apologize for the delay and will do my best to publish very soon!

The now-recurring personal post is over! I wish you all a great week, and plenty of brilliant reads and waffles!

Posted in Mental Health, The Pub Corner

Do You Trust The Ingredients List? My 100th post, some ramblings and a confession

I am one of those people who systematically read the ingredients list of all products I buy, whether they are cosmetics, food or meds. The first reason is that there are a hundred things my body can’t take and will make me pay if I force them into my system. The other reason is that I love to make sure I know what I am using. This applies to people, too. I love getting to know people, but they don’t come with a list. Also, I love reading. That counts as reading, right?

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Right this second, you must be wondering what the hell is happening and what kind of post this is. It’s a confession post. See, I had an epiphany. Actually, I have lots of them, but I swear this one is worth sharing.

Back to the confession now. I have been blogging for eight months. I have met the most awesome people. Bloggers that I admire, bloggers who make my TBR so long I will need two lifetimes to get to the end of it, bloggers who make me laugh. It all started with a shared love for books. Then you get to know some bloggers better, you take part in tags and share bits of yourself. Not actual bits because we all need all our bits to keep functioning, of course. All this information create your very own ingredient list. I can’t say what you would put on mine based on what I have revealed of myself (except that I’m a fantastic waffle maker) but there is one thing I am sure you would not write, and for a long time, I thought it did not matter. But it does. Because it is who I am.

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I suffer from an anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, and mild depression. Spark insomnia on top and you have a little bomb. I’m a cute little red bomb (red for the hair, not the big button that will trigger the zombie apocalypse everyone has been talking about for weeks.)

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This post is not about me complaining about how life can be unfair and hard (even though it sucks when it’s midnight and you’ve run out of Rum and all the shops are closed just when you need waffles again.) or beg for nice words to make me feel better.

I struck up real and adorable friendships around here, but I feel there’s always a wall between me and the rest of the world. That wall is made up of all the days I can’t get out of bed, or bring myself to read because I am too tired and my hair is unwashed but I can’t muster the courage to drag myself into the shower, the days I can’t apply to a job because I know there are times I won’t be able to leave the house, the excuses I make for not going out to get the latest book at the bookstore because it’s too far and too crowded, the lies about living an awesome and “normal” life. I am tired of hiding this huge part of me. If someone cannot handle me with all my craziness and my mental issues, then I can leave without them. But I can’t live without myself, so it’s time I accept it and stop lying to myself and others.

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(The wonderful powers of a change of hair color and my lack of photography skills)

This whole epiphany was triggered by the wonderful book Furiously Happy, and while I am not as fun and awesome as Jenny Lawson, I admire her for talking about her problems, laughing at them, and being true to who she is. She inspired me and showed me the next step to making my life a little better, a little easier, was to stop feeling guilty about all the things I cannot do, and stop hiding who I am. So this is me, standing naked in front of the blogosphere with a Taylor Swift song in the background, saying loud and proud that it’s take it all or leave it (and close the door because it’s freezing).

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(courtesy of Jenny Lawson on her blog )

Now that it’s in the open, I feel a lot better. Of course, it is easier to tell people from the Internet who can’t stare at me with that worried expression saying my issues might be contagious or that I’m merely exaggerating than to family and friends that can actually get all freaked out in front of me and make me feel terrible. But it was important to me that bloggers I talk to on a daily basis and new or old followers could get a real sense of who I am so that our relationship could be based on the truth. Thank you all for making me comfortable enough to talk about a subject I haven’t discussed with more than 2 people in the last five years.

No more lies, no more fears, from now on, you get the real me, and only the real me (now is time to run)

This is my 100th post (one to remember! or time to erase me from your reader) and the first step towards a new part of my life. I am feeling very drama-queen today. I thought the celebration could be more about appreciating my lovely bloggers, taking a weight of my shoulders, letting others know that they are not alone, rather than drinking to a number that only means I have stuck around enough to bore you with such posts!

I might talk about my issues in future posts. I am even considering featuring books that handle mental illnesses well (or not, so you’d know what to use as a good reference and what to burn). But today I just wanted you to meet the real me.

So, hi! I’m Donna, nice to meet you.

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