Let’s be honest, New Year’s good resolutions were only made to comfort us about things we wish we could change but won’t because we are 1) too lazy 2) too busy 3) both 4) way too lazy, busy, and stuck (Thinking about the million people who have tried to quit smoking at this time of year. Failure or mistake has nothing to do with the moment you chose to try it. The pressure killed you!)
This is why today, I am rebelling against this archaic means of self-torture!
1. I will not stop getting books
Seriously, is it even possible?
2. I will not pledge to run a marathon at the end of the year!
Sweating? No, thanks!!!
3. I will not be kinder and more generous
Honesty here, people. I will keep on swearing when an idiot cuts in the line in front of me and forces me to brake like crazy.
4. I will not eat healthier
Unless I really want to. But we already know I can’t resist a burger. MacDonald, my love.
5. I will not quit biting my nails
Totally not ready. Thriller books don’t help.
6. I will not change
Why should I? I’m perfect :p
7. I will not stop being annoyed when people are late
Watches, clocks, alarms were all invented for a reason!
8. I will not stop using my phone so much
I need my online friends! And Candy Crush…
9. I will not stop complaining
Free country! :p
10. I will not stop reading
Who the hell would take this kind of resolution??????
I will not apologize for this post. They are my favorite kind as they take away the pressure… and they keep me busy when I should be doing grown-up stuff!
Have a good (and pressure-free) day!