Posted in Life in General, Mental Health

What I Make of December: My Very Own Little Christ…Thanksgiv..Well, Post.

If you’ve been around for a while, you already know it. If you are new, let me tell you Christmas time is not very welcome around here. Forced gatherings, fake smiles, compulsory gifts. I don’t care for any of it. Don’t talk to me about the Christmas spirit, I haven’t seen it in years! Plus, I don’t have a chimney. This totally ruins the thing.

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This is why I have decided to make my own December thing. I want random posts on this blog to bring joy, smiles, laughs (one can wish!), and as I am the queen around here, no one can stop me *evil laugh*

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I don’t know if I’ll post much, but when I think back on the year I’ve had, there are things I want to say. Let’s hear some of them!

My Very Own Goosebumps Monsters and How I Kick Them!

It’s been a while since my last personal post. I have a video planned about how my life has been completely overtaken by my studies, but I wanted to give you an update about life in general.

Some days are harder than others. We all experience this. But it is much easier when you have your goal on sight. I do. I stick to it like mold on a cheese. But. There’s always a but! My health has been giving me hell, jeopardizing my work at university, leading to more health issues coming back.

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Dare I say the word?

Yes, anxiety is back. At times.

We all get stressed, anxious even at times. I thought I had gotten over this fact and accepted it but it seems I still have issues with it. My luck is I know the names of the monsters under my bed.

  • Lack of self-confidence
  • Fear of Failure
  • Fear to Disappoint others
  • Feeling of inferiority

I fight those monsters with positive thoughts, I watch Buffy, I read (a little). Sadly, I don’t blog as much as I wish I could. But I know I’m not the only one fighting, and I know I am not alone in my own fight.

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This is a thank you post. Thank you to every blogger friend who publishes and makes me smile without knowing it, thank you for every sweet message on Facebook, thank you for GIF conversations, thank you for your passionate posts which remind me how much I love blogging.

Thank you to my closest online friends for everything they do. I can’t write a list, otherwise this post will be three miles long. Yep, I’m that lucky!

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Three exceptions for three kickass women who never let me down in both personal and professional sides of my life.
Thank you Karen, for believing in me when I don’t.
Thank you Kim for listening to my ramblings and being the fabulous inspiration that you are.
Thank you Noelle for always, always fighting by my side.

I might not be active these days but knowing everyone is around is a relief. Like an open door to my secret happy place.

Now let’s talk offline life.

Thank you to the few teachers who understand my anxiety (believe me, I can count them with three fingers!!!), who see how much energy studying takes out of me on top of this damn commute time, and allow me to ask questions and take more of their time. Thank you for caring. You are what being a teacher truly means.

Thank you to my fellow masochists… No sorry, students. We are united, we will live! I never thought I would find such amazing open-minded, understanding, fun, and genuinely kind bunch to share this hell with.
I’m sorry for the tears before or after some exams and for annoying you with my self-deprecation.

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Thank you Maelig for the thumbs-ups, Lilou for the kindest messages, Samuel for being Jesus, Vincent for being naughty… I could go on for another 26 names. Some things are better left unsaid or unwritten! 😉

At the end of the day, all I remember are the jokes and the laughs. Oh Baby!

Thank you to the friends I’ve made. You guys are as crazy as I am, and this is one of the most amazing feeling in the world. You are unique, you are mad, you are just what I need. And you’ll never read this!

Thank you, Mom.

I get up every morning with an aching body telling me I am doing too much. I fight every single day to get to class, to get to work (my favorite!) knowing that each and everyone of you is a weapon I can use against my monsters. I won’t let anything get in the way, but my will is not enough sometimes. If blogging and being sick have taught me anything, it’s that you need people to rely on.

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This is a “It’s hard but it’s worth it” post because we need them once in a while. This is me not complaining but acknowledging how lucky I am! This is me being totally hormonal and wanting to hug all of you.

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Chocolaten’n’waffles will be back with less serious? More bookish posts soon!

32 thoughts on “What I Make of December: My Very Own Little Christ…Thanksgiv..Well, Post.

  1. Damn right you are Queen Waffles just like I am God of my own blog and we can blog about what we want!😀 Sadly, some people don’t seem aware of that fact, it’s their blog, write about what they want.

    I totally hear you on Christmas, the most Christmassy my blog will get is the WordPress snow and a Fluffy Bunny Christmas poem which to be quite honest is just a chance for me to be rude and pass it off as Christmas related!😂

    You’re not the only one who doesn’t like Christmas, I don’t like it either and I don’t think a lot of others do either but we will endure, make it through and then it’ll be thankfully over for another year!👏

    Same for anxiety, like depression and other ailments too, we’re strong, we endure.

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  2. Lots of love to you, Meggy!
    This truly is what life is… good and bad, easy and difficult.. but with the people around you, it makes it all worth it in the end!
    Good luck with all of your ventures and take care! ❤

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  3. Ha I’m sure I’ll put a smile on your face when you’ll see my Christmas tree on Wednesday. It’s rather ‘small’ :-). It’s great to see you have so much people to thank and I know only too well that anxiety is a beast, but you can do it! I’m pretty sure everyone is encouraging and gives you peptalks and sends you positive energy and that must help a lot, right? I’m sending you my own little potion of courage and confidence for next year!! Take care lovely!! xxx

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  4. I can relate to you on a lot of your points here, namely your thoughts about Christmas ( bah humbug from me!). And also your demons.
    However you are an inspiration because you have done amazing to conquer and keep battling these demons of yours.
    Yes your studies, jobs and commute are hard going. But I heard a good quote the other day and it made me think of you. ” strive for excellence not perfection”. And you know your health is more important than anything else.
    The huge benefits you have is your will to succeed and beat the monsters, even though they come hard and fast. And you also have amazing support. But I want to point out why ( I think )you have that support, it’s because you give that support to others and you show what an inspiration and what a compassionate person you are.
    You deserve so much happiness and success. And maybe that won’t come from Christmas of forced gifts and get togethers! ( how I can’t wait!!! 😐. ) But I hope it comes from living your dreams and finding happiness through friends.
    I wish you so much happiness Meggy because you deserve it.
    Amanda.

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    1. You’ve just made me cry! Thank you so so much, Amanda ❤ I do my best and I sometimes feel shy when sharing but it always helps me so I just shush the voice in my head telling me it's boring. I would not be where I am today without the support of people online, including you! I hope my internship in England can get me to come and see you! I've been received so much help and support, I feel I don't deserve it, and I feel like the always-complaining-old-no-make up lady… But I'm trying, and I feel extremely lucky xxx

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  5. I cannot tell you enough how you amaze and inspire me. Our conversations and your drive have help me fight my own battles with more confidence and strength. I may be biased but I am super proud, excited and happy for you my friend. I know there are hurdle, but if anyone can face them and overcome, it is you ❤ This is a lovely post! We will chat more later – xx

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