Posted in Book Reviews, Mental Health

Blog Therapy n°3: Why I Blabber On and On about Small Victories and You Should Too.

Your brain is not always your friend. I don’t know if it is just me, but I have a tendency to keep the bad memories in store, clear and loud, in my head, rather than the good things. I’m gonna remember the stupid biker who tried to run me over but not the nice walk I had. I’m gonna keep the feelings of anxiety I felt after a three-hour amazing out-of-comfort-zone time. The bad days are always lurking in the back of my mind, like monsters with claws ready to get me back to the bad places I go when I’m not feeling good.

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My only defense against this strong (and I mean REALLY strong) mechanism is to be truly present when something good happens. I try to gather as many details as possible, without focusing on anything in particular (focusing means I’m gonna start worrying soon!), I just am in the present, enjoying the rare moments with little to no anxiety, relishing in the uncommon times when I feel happy until one day they feel normal again and anxiety feels like the old uncle you don’t want to see but meet once in a while.

Those happy moments are still sparse and this is why they are the most important. Once I have made progress, felt I could be myself again, achieved something big (big for me, usual for the rest of the world, but who cares, this is about me!), I need to find a way to use those times as weapons. Because they are fragile and my mind will let go of them very fast if I don’t care for them. For that, I need to be able to remind myself of how I felt, what I did, with extreme precision. I haven’t found a better way than to talk about it, over and over. To myself first. I talk alone and use positive words. To my mother, because she never tells me to shut up and supports me. More recently, I have been sharing on social media. I have been very open about all the little steps I have taken on Facebook (and probably annoyed most of my friends, haha!) because I need to tattoo those happy things hard on my soul so I can use them against bad days. Here’s how I do that on a daily basis!

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I congratulate myself. It may sound weird to some of you. “What the hell? Should I congratulate myself for eating my breakfast?” Well, if you’ve been having issues eating, yes, you should, darling. There’s no shame in congratulating yourself for something that took effort, motivation and energy out of you. I feel a lot better since I started allowing myself to say “Bravo, you’ve done it. You are awesome.” Because at the end of the day, if I say it enough, it leaves an imprint on my mind, and I hope it helps reminding me of all the victories I have achieved and the feeling of accomplishment it brings. Most anxiety sufferers are so hard on themselves they forget to be kind to themselves. When was the last time you told yourself “Good job!”?

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I used to be so shy that I never talked about my issues. Mental illness was a taboo I wasn’t ready to share. Until the day I stripped off and revealed the naked truth on my blog. I have talked about the bad things, like my rejection to the degree I wanted earlier this month, but it’s just as important to share the good things. They are fewer, so say them, shout them. I am lucky to have found friends among the blogosphere who know what life with anxiety is, and friends who are open-minded enough to understand and support me whatever happens. So I stopped being shy. I learned I was not alone. I share silly recordings of myself (another victory: daring to show my face and speak English in videos!), I share my workout sessions, I share my bad days, I am open about my feelings even when I am ashamed of them. It helps me letting go when it’s something bad, and holding on when it’s something good.

You don’t have to share, and too many times, people don’t find the right people to listen to them. But share for yourself if it can help you. I don’t mind if a status doesn’t get reactions, it’s a written proof for myself that I have been there, I have done that, and I am proud of it. It is evidence that I am making peace with what I am, that I accept what I can and cannot do, and that I push my limits. I am not looking for approbation or compliments, I just want my experience to be recorded, selfishly so that I can go back and fight bad days with happy words and photos, and also so that maybe one day someone reads something I have written and finds comfort in it, knows that they are not alone and that it takes a lifetime of good and bad days to make a life, but we can make it.

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If you’re not comfortable sharing on social media or with family and friends, you can have a diary and write all the fantastic steps you take, all the wrong things that happen, it has the same effect as sharing for me. I have a jar for bad things, and a diary for good things. I put the bad in the jar, close the lid and put it behind me (or try to!) I open the diary, write in a terrible way (I blame typing for my inability to write properly), and put words that I hope stay in my heart and mind so I can reread them and be transported back to times where things were okay.

repeat it.pngIt’s like learning a lesson. Some will reread, others will repeat the lesson until it’s anchored deep inside. I do both. I reread my diary, but before that, as soon as I’ve achieved something and I’m in my comfort zone again, I’m going to be that annoying girl who keeps saying “I went alone there” / “I can’t believe I did it!” / “I was okay!” / “I went there on my own” / The same event used until my throat begs me to shut up. Because I need to remind my brain those situations are normal, because I need to feel them again and again until I get used to the words enough to dare thinking about doing it again, because I need to process and it takes time for me to realize what I achieve. I tend not to see my progress, so like mantras, I use those sentences to allow myself to get used to what I felt again, what I did, what I saw, and tell my body that it shouldn’t be scared anymore.

So I’ll keep posting, shouting, smiling in the street when I achieve a goal, when I reach a new level in my life, when I take a surprise step. I’ll keep admitting bad feelings, venting about bad days, talking about difficult times. I never want to stop blabbering. I’ll stop when I’m dead. Blabbering means I’m fighting. Blabbering means I’m living. Bear with me! I want to bore myself with the same sentences repeated over and over until they are like a song in my head I can sing to the face of anxiety, like an hymn to get rid of all that is burdening me, like a cure to what’s wrong. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be happy and be left with misery and sad days.

So, if you don’t follow me on Facebook, you don’t know that, this week, for the first time in years (I truly mean years) I spent three hours alone, away from my comfort zone or any kind of reassuring presence. I drove for an hour, I was hot because of course I chose a day where the temperature rose to 30 degrees (Celsius!), I had my eyes checked, I waited for thirty minutes for another surprise appointment. I even when to the bank and no one likes to go there! I did it all. I’m proud of myself. I have said it before, but if you’ve read the above rambling, you know it’s important for me to say it again. So here it is. This was a major step. There was tension, a little, anxiety, no. I’m the first surprised about this. Congrats to me, I’m awesome! 🙂

This was my happy blog therapy post, as a reminder not every day is bad, not every hour is a nightmare, and not everything is a problem when you live with anxiety. You can get better, you better enjoy every stolen moment of happiness and every step until they become natural again one day. I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of my anxiety, but I’m intending on befriending it, embracing it, learning to live with it, and it means accepting the bad, and celebrate the good.

When was the last time you did something you were proud of? Did you congratulate yourself? Do you allow yourself to be kind and gentle with your mind and body? 

76 thoughts on “Blog Therapy n°3: Why I Blabber On and On about Small Victories and You Should Too.

  1. I think most people tend to focus on the negative and bad things that happen, not really sure why but they do
    I know I do myself, have trouble remembering the good and can easily remember the bad, or the one bad thing that spoils a good time.

    Sharing is good (obviously if you want to) it helps to get feelings and emotions out there. I’m not a sharer or much of a talker either but I wrote a long and rambling blog post about depression the other week and it helped to get it out there and I actually felt quite proud that I’d written and shared something so personal – obviously the post contained sarcasm and bad grammar! 😂

    Little things and victories are important though, just as much as the big and deserve to be mentioned and celebrated, even if it’s only yourself doing the celebrating.

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    1. I wish it was different. When I look at some of my family members, it seems so easy from their side…
      I remember your post, and it was a brave thing to do. Not everyone is ready to take it, but I do believe it helps 🙂 You definitely must be proud of yourself! Go eat a waffle! :p
      Exactly, I don’t need a parade, I just need to party by myself 😀

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  2. Great post. I totally believe in celebrating every achievement no matter how minor it may be to others. For me that’s often just driving somewhere unfamiliar on my own or speaking up in a group of people.

    I will also second your point that there is great support out there and I’ve been amazed by the number of people in the blogging community who have similar issues. It’s great to have a safe space to talk about these things. I often find friends and family in real life just don’t get it so it’s fantastic to find others who do.

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    1. I feel much better talking about it and knowing others just need the same thing 🙂 So many things can feel scary that we need all the pep talk and celebrations of little things we can! I am amazed by the support I have been getting from the community and the fact others agree to share their stories in comment and my only wish is to be able to be there for anyone who needs it.

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  3. I will never stop telling you each day how proud I am of being your friend & will never tire of hearing you telling us how you’ve challenged yourself. You are taking on your demons head on & taking control & I am so proud of you xxxxxx

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    1. Every day I am so grateful for your support, your kind words, your patience and the fabulous loving vibes I get from you. You make me want to try harder sometimes when I can’t find the strength to do something on my own. I am lucky to have you by my side 🙂 (or in my pocket!) Thank you so much for being you, for being awesome, and for being a wonderful friend xxxxxxx

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      1. Oh you made me tear up there, it’s an honour to be your friend Donna, and I am so glad that I can help you on days you need it most as well as share the good moments with you. Always your friend xxxxxxx

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  4. Congratulations!! Three hours is a hella long time in anxiety time.

    I have a phobia of gyms, no idea where the strength of the reaction comes from but the thought of going in makes me feel ill but I’ve started going to a new gym recently and walk my ass in alone. It seems so silly but I congratulated the hell out of myself for that one, my friends are all gym bunnies so they wouldn’t get it so I’m sharing the success with you and your afternoon out!

    We are winning ✌🏻

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    1. Those three hours felt like three days!!!! Well, not during, but after anyway, I was so tired! No more energy! Completely drained!
      Wow, that’s big! Gyms are so intimidating!!! If only you weren’t surrounded by others, it’d be easier… I have never dared trying to go! Congratulations, you rock!!! We are so winning this!! I’m proud of you!

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  5. Good advice. I wish I could manage my anxiety better. Sometimes I feel like I’ve improved but something happens to knock me down and it’s not easy to talk about irrational things with thosr who won’t understand. Well done to you for your accomplishments and we should congradulate ourselves

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    1. We’ve all been there. We all still do… I was feeling super until Thursday and then the sleep deprivation combined to the meds I’m on ruined it and I was back down. I do believe you need to go through it yourself to really understand, but sometimes we find people ready to listen and have an open-mind, and it can be enough. If you ever need to talk about anything, my email address is available with my bio 🙂 Congrats on talking about your anxiety with us, and thank you 🙂

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  6. I’m new to visiting your blog so haven’t witnessed your journey but have been on my own and like you I believe in talking as much and as loud as possible for my own benefit as much as others. I’ve learned a lot about managing my anxiety in the past year which comes and goes depending on the cycles of my bipolar so it’s a bit unreliable but I’ve learned to trust myself and the people I love to get me through it. I’ve learned to lean on my tools such as mindfulness, meditation, writing, music, walking to overcome anxiety and for me stepping out of my comfort zone and challenging my anxiety can help me.

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    1. Let’s shout and be heard or not but at least free our minds and hearts of the weight of mental illness! It is so tricky as those issues tend to make you hide in a shell and feed on loneliness. I am glad you’ve learned what works for you so you can manage your days in a better way 🙂 We all need to go through phases to know what triggers our problems and what helps against them. I keep hearing about mindfulness and I know I should try. I also want to resume my yoga practice, it was a huge help. Thanks so much for sharing your story with me, I truly appreciate it 🙂 So thank you, and congrats on talking about it here 🙂

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      1. A lot of what you’ve described here is mindfulness, it’s essentially allowing yourself to be in the moment, to accept how you feel and to move on to the next. That’s a very rough summary but I thought mindfulness reading much of what you wrote here. We are often mindful without realising it. And I return your congrats about talking about it.

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  7. What a truly wonderful post. I can relate to so much of what you say and wish I had your strength to ‘blabber’ so openly. I hate labels but I’m the person known as the ‘cancer’ fighter so it seems too much for me to admit I suffer crippling anxiety on top of that! Keep congratulating yourself and be proud of your massive achievement, the heat alone would have phased me! xx

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    1. Thank you love! Well you do have the strength, as you are here, and talking to me, and I am proud of you for it! You could have just liked and got on with your life 🙂 Congrats! If you ever need to blabber, I’m your man, haha! I totally understand your point, it can be too much for people to take, and after some time they only see you with those placards above the head with “cancer fighter” and “anxiety warrior” shining bright. It makes relationships more difficult and finding open-minded people who can see you for all the awesome things that you are a bit harder! Also, it’s not an easy thing to admit and accept about yourself.
      The heat was the worst! Not even the surprise appointment, but that sticky, sweaty heat that doesn’t leave you, yikes!!!
      Thank you for commenting, I’m really happy you did, really really! xxx

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  8. Such a brave honest post Donna and yay you for your achievement this week. I relate a lot to what you write about focusing on the bad things and letting them overshadow the good as an anxiety sufferer also, so I’m going to take some inspiration from you today xx

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    1. It is funny as every time I think I’m writing a selfish post, I am told it’s a brave one! 🙂 I am so happy to have this blog as an outlet to gather all thoughts I have, it is very liberating. Thank you so much for your sweet words ❤ It's a constant battle against our mind to try and focus on the best. I was definitely not born a positive person, but I won't stop trying, and the days I can't, I know there's a community I can share it with and get help. It changes so many things to know you are not alone. You can always come and find me if you need anything, a talk, a kitty gif, or whatever 🙂 We, anxiety warriors, must stick together! Thank you for being around and being yourself 🙂 xxx

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  9. It’s great seeing such a positive post! 🙂 Also, I just realised that I rarely congratulate myself for anything – definitely going to take up your advice and do it more often in the future. I keep a diary as well, though I tend to write both good and bad things in it. I think writing out my thoughts every day just helps me with everything. 🙂
    Congratulations on the major step you took this week! I’m glad to see that you had such a nice experience and and the pictures are simply beautiful! ❤

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    1. I felt the blog therapy had to be for the good as much as the bad things, so I hoped to bring good vibes today 🙂 Yes, do congratulate yourself, you deserve it!! I’m happy the diary helps, no matter the way, the mind feels clearer when you write your thoughts down.
      Thank you so much ❤ I'm proud of myself, and I proud of having stopped being too shy to share pics!!!

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  10. loved this post. I love the idea of celebrating and embracing the good and bad, I have anxiety and my blog and this community has helped me come out of my comfort zone. Things have got worse lately and I need to push myself out of my comfort zone, I really want to learn to drive for one. I’m going to be 23 this year and put it off because it was easier to use the train to get to my university than drive then I just walked or got lifts of my family when they wen’t my way but I think learning and having a car my give me a chance to push myself more? But I am so scared to even get the process going and doing that first lesson.
    I liked your ending how you don’t think your anxiety will go away but you are going to try and live with it because I feel mine will never go away and think this is great advice! There is no cure and I think when i’m at my lowest I think about that all the time, what if I was ‘normal’ but what even is normal? If I learn to live with it and push myself I may be able to start doing other things but I know my anxiety will never truly go away.

    Great post 🙂

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    1. Thank you for sharing this with me, and with the rest of us 🙂 This is a step, so congrats! 🙂 The community is amazing and a real rock you can lean on whenever you need. I’m always around for the bad or the good times and reachable via email 🙂
      I am no professional and every experience is different. I completely understand your thinking. Have you realized only the thought and determination to get your licence is a step in itself? Even if taking the step and starting the process is not done yet, you have set your mind on something and this is the best motivation ever. I’d say not to push yourself too hard, you’re definitely on the right track and the more you’ll be thinking about what you’ll be able to do with a car, the less scary it will become. Starting the process and actually doing it will of course be massive steps and require a lot from you, but I am sure you have the strength, as it seems to me you have already thought about the after, about what this licence would bring you to go further! So be proud of yourself for that, take the next step when you feel it, and be gentle with yourself. You are absolutely right to think driving would be an amazing way for you to expand your world and comfort zone.
      I once believed I was cured from agoraphobia and all my issues, only to be brought down so hard I learned my lesson. I won’t fight anxiety, I’ll live with it until I can put it in a box so that it doesn’t prevent me from doing what I want. It’ll stay with me, but won’t control me 🙂 We all are normal in our special way 🙂 I think accepting your situation and the anxiety, and the fact it won’t 100% go away is the key to start to stop being afraid of it 🙂 I’m here if you ever need 🙂

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      1. Thank you so much Donna. Your wise words here are very comforting. I wish their was a magic wand someone would wave and cure us all. I think back to my life without this community, without people like you sharing your experiences, thoughts and advice and I don’t know how I survived. This place is truly a blessing for me. I am determined to learn before I hit 23. ❤

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  11. Well done on your drive and appointments, the photos you shared make it seem like it was a lovely day. (I love the sun, so it would be perfect for me, although I know you prefer it cooler).
    Definitely a good idea to note and embed in your head all the good things. It would be the easy thing to let the bad memories and feelings take over. You sound so determined not to let this anxiety beat you, and well done you for fighting back and befriending the little monster!!
    I’m sorry to hear you didn’t get into the degree, I missed you posting about that. However, you applied and found something that you wanted to do, so be proud of that. There is always next year, the year after or a million other wonderful things you can do.
    Our brains (and bodies) are not always good to us, but remembering the good times and achievements is an excellent thing to do. I follow a few inspirational people on Instagram and every day read a picture quote that they post to remind me to be positive and appreciate what we have, what we can do, rather than the opposite.
    Well done Donna, I’m proud of you.
    Amanda. xx

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    1. Thank you so much 🙂 I definitely would have preferred my day with cooler temperatures! My car was an oven!
      I think I finally accepted my conditions and that it’s not the end of my life, I can learn to do things anyway, this is probably why I’ve been seeing progress in between bad days.
      This degree was not the one I was supposed to apply for, it’s the last year of the two-year degree I want, and they asked for experience, but I tried anyway because it was paid, and paid is always better! Also, I had nothing to lose by using my blog and experience with publishers here to make my case. But I’m still waiting to hear about the first year of the degree, what I initially wanted, and I’m still hoping… We’ll see! Rereading myself, I find this all very complicated, hahaha!
      I only discovered recently how surrounding yourself with positivity really had an impact on your mood and how you react to events, so I’m learning to add nice touches everywhere 🙂 Thank you so much for taking the time to read my rambling and for your support and input, I always appreciate them. xxx

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  12. Congrats on your successful outing – you are awesome! It’s too easy to remember all the negative stuff and forget the positive stuff, so go on blabbering… 😀

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  13. This is an amazing post Donna, and it’s great you shared this with the WordPress community as well. I tend to do the same thing with bad memories. I always keep them at the forefront of my mind and play them over and over again, thinking of what could have happened differently.
    These are all great things to do, and if they work for you even better as well! 😀
    When it comes to my anxiety and bad memories I tend to imagine stuffing all the memories and feelings in a box in my head and closing it tight, it works to make me feel a little better. 🙂
    Again great post. ❤

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    1. It feels so liberating to share all those things on the blog, and if it can help even just one person, then I’m happy to share 🙂 I pour all I have into this blog and so far, it’s been wonderful. I feel lucky.
      I love the imagining of the box! I’m happy it works for you! It’s a great idea! ❤

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      1. Oh I can imagine, kind of like how talking to someone about your problems can lessen them in a way you know?
        Yeah it works for me, so I’m going to keep doing it until I need to come up with something else. 🙂 Thanks Donna! ❤

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  14. Good for you! I love that you celebrate your successes. It is a **big deal** when we are able to go beyond our limitations or to stick to a new routine. It’s so hard to change old patterns or overcome old fears. I don’t do this as explicitly as you do (I should think about it), but I do track things like my mood, my energy level, my exercise, etc., and I feel excited and happy when I see changes in the positive direction. And I often carry that evidence in to therapy with me, I suppose to show my therapist that I’m not a hopeless case but really am making progress!

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  15. I know every bit of those feels, and like you said, I always forget to congratulate myself. I should, but most of the time I feel like ‘it’s no victory anyway’, or I just forget.the treasure box is such a good idea though! Like super awesome. Cause I also tend to remember just the bad things. Bad habits, I guess :/

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    1. I used to be so hard on myself that I added pressure and it did not help the anxiety. The congratulating part is very very important, I hope you can try and see if it helps you ❤ Every step, even the smallest, are worth celebrating, because you are worth it.
      Bad habits are so difficult to get rid of. But not impossible, I promise 🙂

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  16. Congrats honey, I’m proud of you and you should be proud of yourself! ❤ It's really hard to ignore those negative thoughts (trust me, I struggle with them daily as well), but even with baby steps you'll get there in the end. I love the steps you use to add some positivity to your life! ❤

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  17. You are awesome Donna! What a fabulous post, and I love to see you are really doing it. One step at a time is the way to go and you’ll get there! I really admire your attitude and positivity any I’ll never ever get tired of hearing about your achievements!

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    1. Aw, what a kind and positive message, thank you! 😀 ❤ It takes an awesome person to recognize another :p I love sharing all those little things with everything, even though I used to make fun of people using social media so much!

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  18. Congrats on your achievements Donna and for doing a brave thing like sharing… You speak/write with such heart, I am sure a lot of people/readers can relate and feel comfort from your words…

    I like the photos of the walks you post on FB, it looks like you live in paradise and damn am I jealous 😀 West ireland is just so freaking rainy and dull, but I congratulate myself because yesterday I stuck it out- the sun was shining (I usually just go back inside and just read the day away!), I grabbed a couple of tools and did some work in the garden- we were trimming down a tree… I got some color on my arms, lots of fresh air, some workout from cleaning up the big branches and I didn’t care if I stood in sheep poop 😀 Great day!

    Bad moments, hours, days, weeks, months… they come but they also go.. Life is like an ocean with tides.. in and out, up and down… but we are winning with celebrating the successes no matter how small or big! 🙂 ❤

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    1. Thank you so much, darling. I’m sharing to let go of things, but also in the hope those words can help someone, so I can only wish it reaches people 🙂
      haha, yes, I’m in paradise! I wish this paradise was not 2 hours away from Bordeaux, though! It makes going there a bit difficult! But we have magnificent places and I’m only starting to discover them. Better late than never!! I so want to visit Ireland! My cousin worked there for three months and loved it. Except the accent xD Yay for the outside time! It’s so good for the mood!
      Let’s just keep winning and keeping the head out of the water ❤ Thank you xxxx

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      1. Aye, I’m too well aware of difficult logistics… Dingle in West Kerry, Ireland is lovely too but getting anywhere is such a hassle! grr.. 🙂
        Oh, you defo have to come to Ireland some time… try to pick a time of year when it’s not raining though 😀 hahaha… difficult, that… but end summer is normally quite nice… and yes, I can totally agree with the accents! there are so many different ones here in every county and then there’s the ‘farmer accent’… it’s like-come again? what did you say? 😀
        I have never actually been to France… shocking! but I do sometimes dream of having a lovely cottage somewhere South of France and just enjoying the countryside! 🙂

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        1. YES! Me want Ireland!! 😀 Haha, is it really possible to find a non-rainy day there???? I just cannot wait to discover all those accents myself and try not to look stupid while trying to understand xD
          You have an open door to France! 😀 We’re lucky to have beautiful places and awesome food :p

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  19. What a lovely post ❤ Congratulating yourself on your victories, no matter how big or small, is so important because by vocalizing them, you're recognizing them and their significance. Being able to write down positive things can be a massive confidence booster, something that, like you say, you can reread and be transported back to on the not-so-good days 🙂 I seriously need to take a leaf out of your book and be kinder to myself by congratulating myself more often.
    A huge congratulations on your achievement this week also ❤

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  20. I hold a lot of love and admiration for this post. It is also completely relatable. I also tend to let the overwhelming or bad crowd out all of the positive and can lose my grip at times. Working hard to keep hold of the moments that matter feels like something we should not have to do, but for many is a constant battle. It is also an important one.

    I am warmed to see that you are taking these steps and sharing them. I think sharing is important for a few reasons:
    It will strengthen your efforts.
    It forces you to acknowledge the good ❤
    And it is important for all of us to remember these things and know we are not alone.

    You are beautiful my Twin Pea. You inspire me daily and I am blessed to have you in my life. I draw a deep strength from you courage ❤

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    1. And I hold a lot of love for you 😀 ❤ I am so surprised every time I share such posts to see how many people can relate to it. It lifts a weight of my shoulder to not be alone but at the same time I wish people were happier and that those issues weren't that widespread! I know it's a generic thing humans do to hold on to the worst but I wish it was otherwise. Utopian mind! 🙂 Anyway, as long as we fight the battle and keep the shiny and warm moments with us, we'll be alright.
      It still feels I'm a bit selfish when I write those posts because they're primarily a tool for me to think of my situation and progress, but in the end, I am happy if it can make a tiny difference or help someone on a bad day, or just remind someone that we are definitely not alone in the battle.
      You made me tear up again! ❤ I gain strength from our friendship every day, and I feel there's a hand supporting me every step of the way ❤

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  21. Formidable. I can only continue to support and applaud the steps you take to embrace it. ” But share for yourself if it can help you.” is 100% right! This post definitely made me happy and I hope you’ll continue to see life like this and love those victories, whatever their size! 😉

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  22. Beautiful post. Reading this made me want to cry. So many different emotions. I get what you mean about dwelling on the negatives. Sometimes, it takes other people to get me to see the good side of things and most times, I still end up sticking with the bad sides. I love the idea of celebrating small victories and congratulating ourselves. I will adopt that. I am so glad to read about all the good things that happened in your life this week. All sound amazing and the photos are so beautiful. You are awesome!

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    1. I am “happy” this post moved you and that you found things to add to your life 🙂 This is my way of letting go, think about my situation, and just throw it all out here so that others just know there are so many ways, so many things to do, and most importantly, that we are not alone. Anxiety posts don’t always have to be dark! You are awesome yourself, dear 🙂 Thank you and congratulations for sharing with me, and technically, the entire Internet haha!

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  23. Aww I love this post!! I definitely agree with you about congratulating yourself- for me it can even be when I don’t do something I shouldn’t do- I have to give myself a pat on the back for that when I don’t give into my more negative impulses. But yes, it’s so important when we do something- however small- to give ourselves the credit. I think we often don’t give ourselves enough credit for the little things or even the things that would be “normal” to other people. I really respect everyone that’s able to share and I love your idea of a happy diary and a sad jar- that’s brilliant!! I do write down things that bother me in random places (on an email, in a notebook, or on a scrap of paper) because I do feel like they need to be purged from the system. Ah no one likes the bank- so real kudos for that!! I just love this post- you always turn things into positivity and I just really admire that!! Definitely go on celebrating all the little things and I’m sure there will be loads of things (big and small) for you to celebrate in your future too!!

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    1. That’s fantastic, you’re doing it the right way! I congratulate myself for not having bad thoughts haha, it’s easy when you take the habit to find little things to be happy about and congrats-material!
      I admit I’m surprised to be able to share so much about myself, I feel a bit naked, haha! But it is a big relief for me, and I can only hope it helps someone out there. Most of all, I want everyone to be able to share if they want to, without the judgement that still comes too often with mental health.
      I’m pretty proud of the bad jar and happy diary duo 😀 Writing things down really takes their power on us away, right?
      Thank you so much, my darling! I was not born with positivity but I sure as hell am trying to learn it! 🙂 xxx

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      1. Aww thank you so much! haha yes very true!!
        ahh that’s amazing. And yes, I really support everyone that can come out of their shell to talk about it, cos it’s so impressive.
        ahh yes I agree so much!!
        You’re very welcome! 😊 Aww that’s brilliant!! 😀 xxx

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  24. I love this post, Donna. Thanks so much for sharing it. Being positive and celebrating my small accomplishments is something I REALLY struggle with. I am really, really hard on myself and if I do something I’m always like “everyone can do that” which I’m trying really hard to stop. I really want to learn to be kinder myself and be happy with all my accomplishments no matter how small they are.

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    1. Thank YOU for taking the time to read and share 🙂 It is so unnatural for us to congratulate us that it takes a lot of time and effort to make it a habit and a reflex, I hope you can make it happen, because it really helps! I’m proud of you, now is your time to be proud of yourself ❤ Take your time, it's okay to get used to the idea you are allowed to 🙂 xx

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  25. Hi! I stumbled onto your blog through Marie’s SFATW post and I am SO GLAD to find another mental health warrior! I had a rough day yesterday with my depression, I felt really hopeless and I didn’t accomplish anything that I wanted to do that day. But reading this post was so helpful because I’m awful at congratulating myself!

    I really like your idea about putting the bad thoughts into a jar. I’ve been journaling for more than half my life, but I tend to pour out the negative thoughts a lot. It helps to get the out of my head, but sometimes I hold back from writing on bad days because I hate leaving a “paper trail” of the times when depression got the best of me. So I really like what you said about separating the bad stuff and not revisiting it, and then when you re-read your journal you’re reminded of times when things were okay. I think that is so helpful and I’m amazed I haven’t thought of it before myself!

    Thank you so much for sharing this. It means a lot to know that I’m not alone, that there are so many of us fighting these battles that sometimes only we can see. Keep on fighting! ❤

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    1. Hi Christine!! *Mental health warrior special high five!*
      I am glad if this post helped you a little and I am sorry you had a bad day yesterday. I admit I write those posts for myself, to let go, but also for this kind of comments, like a lifeline we can hold on to when hours are long and days are difficult. Congratulations on gathering the strength to read my post up until the end 🙂
      It took me so long to learn how to congratulate myself for every little victory, and I still fail at recognizing those wins at times!
      When I was in the middle of an anti-anxiety program, it dawned on me that I had lots to write about all the wrong things I would do, say, feel, think, and so little good things to hold on to. Those happier moments were lost in a sea of bad days. This is why I decided to separate those moments and get a jar, something I could look at and watch grow with happy little things. I also have a file in my computer in which I put all screencaps of nice messages I get about my work on the book reviews or just nice little things I share with others. I try to surround myself with happy chests so I can open them whenever I doubt or spend a day in the dark. When we are in the middle of depression, it is very difficult to find things to help us, as we often feel so helpless 😦 I know I do!
      You are definitely not alone. This is only a blog, and I’m a random ginger behind a laptop screen, but you will always find help, shelter, eyes to listen (so weird!) and sticky fingers to reply to you here. This is a safe place where it’s okay not to be okay, and it’s okay to say it 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing this with me, for taking the time to read my ramblings, you reminded me I don’t just shout at thin air 🙂 Congratulations on fighting. I’m sure you did not tell it to yourself today! 🙂 ❤ AnxietyWarriors!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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